What you think of as your privilege Elle is something else, I'll let you into the secret very soon. But in order to understand it you have to forget that "white privilege" nonsense.

Whiteness is an accident of birth, it does not confer privilege. Education is not a privilege confered by whiteness, it is available to all who choose to take advantage of what's on offer.

I guess you have never visited India, the contrasts between obscene wealth and abject poverty are incredible, and yet the poor consider themselves privileged to be alive and that shows in the joy with which they experience the noise and colour, the tastes (and in common with many places the food poor people buy from street stalls tastes better than what is served in the most exclusive restaurants,) and general chaos of that exuberent country.

No, privilege does not come from skin colour or wealth, although money can buy a facsimilie of it, as tends to happen when my 'special friend'* and I roll into a restaurant car park in her Range Rover Sport or my classic sports car.

Real privilege however comes from confidence. My friend does not walk into those restaurants or the upmarket shops thinking, "Oh no, I have no right to be here, I'm a brown skinned Muslim." She has every right to be there and knows it.

You obviously have a good education and I'll take it on trust that you are well spoken. On top of that you also have the self awareness to admit that where you are now is to some extent due to choices you made. I know you have confidence because without it you would not have made those choices.

Don't be guilt tripped by BLM propaganda, let's see those hypocrites protesting that black lives matter over the dozens of black people killed by other blacks in Chicago or the handful in London every week before we grant them credibility.

My wife was a Roman Catholic, like most and members of her family she tortured herself with guilt about silly things and frequently told me she envied my attitude which is usually summed up in the phrase "offer no explanations, seek no absolution." It was only in the last few years of her life she shook of the guilt and learned she was who she was . None of us is perfect.

* My special friend: I call her that because I'm too old for girlfriends and it's still too soon after my wife's death for a big relationship. She and I (sorry I dare not give her name even in a comment thread, the billion to once change of her being identified is to great a risk for the trouble it could cause her) met when she became one of my wife, Teri's visiting carers in the final months of her life. In fact it was Teri that saidto be "That girl's got the hots for you."

I gave the impression my friend is a very privileged person, so why does she need to work as a carer you might well ask.

Mainly it's to annoy her husband. It is very dificult for a Muslim woman to leave an arranged marriage, so its her way of asserting herself. You see for al her advantages she is still her husband's property and without freedom what are the privileges of wealth and education worth?

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Opted for comfortable retirement before I was fifty due to health problems and burn out. Now spend my time writing and goofing around. Home: northern England..

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