Somebody has been feeding you fake news Allan, The Queen can invite The USA to rejoin The United Kingdom, but not England. The thing is, you see, while Scotland, Wales and Ulster had traditional Kings who could tell their subjects, "You've all got to do what I say because I'm the King," England is a bit different, The King or Queen has to qualify for the job by pulling a sword out of a stone and then rules only by consent of the people.

If Queen Elizabeth suddenly announced, "As well as my 48 ceremonial counties, I'm going to have 50 new ones, not like those poxy metropolitan counties created by that little creep Blair, but proper counties with high sheriffs and cricket teams, they are American states now but we can assimilate them so long as they learn to play cricket," it's very likely we the people would say, "Are you having a laugh Ma'am? We do not consent to that, we'll have Florida because they have good beaches, and Louisiana because they have good food, New Jersey too because we liked the Sorpanos, but we're not having California, its too expensive. And we just don't fancy Utah.

As for the others, we'll take a few, but can't you give the rust best to Scotland, everything is rusty there because it's always raining, and the Bible Belt will suit Wales, it's only a few years since they first allowed pubs to open on Sundays. Northern Ireland might like Chicago from what we've heard about it. Oh, and give New Amsterdam back to the Dutch. there are too many protocol ignoring loudmouths from that city.

Apart from that we're quite tolerant, we wouldn't begrudge Americans their coffee, after all we allow the Scots their deep fried Mars Bars and put up with the Welsh and their bloody awful Male Voice Choirs. And while we are quite flexible on quirky spellings we think there is room for improvement on pronunciation. For example the place names Belvoir and Cholmondley are respectively pronounced Beever and Chumley. This is important, there wouldn't be any point in a wines and spirits retailer calling their business Belvoir liquors if people do not pronounce the first word correctly.

If Her Maj takes all that on board, and instructs Boris to tell congress these are our conditions we English might, just might, summon The Queen to Runnymead and consent to accept most U.S. states. The lefovers can be given to the EU to compensate them for Brexit.

Opted for comfortable retirement before I was fifty due to health problems and burn out. Now spend my time writing and goofing around. Home: northern England..

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