In a comic I read when still in junior school there was a character who was always depicted with mushrooms growing on his tongue. I have never suspected there were such people in real life.
I thought the stuff on “skid marks” was funny but plenty of straight men (me included) who’ve been round the block more times than the paperboy’s bike can tell you skid mark stories from their experience. So the article was maybe a bit one sided. Bidets are the answer perhaps, or regular workouts to keep that sphincter well toned.